Now read this: Zen to Done. Zen to Done takes bits and pieces from David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” and Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and merges them into 10 guiding principles that you can pick and choose a la carte, these are the high-level habits. It then offers specific advice and examples on how to implement these habits. When I read GTD, I did not like having to slog through anecdote after anecdote, and with Zen to Done, you don’t have to. The book is structured so that you can just get the habits down, or just the specifics, or you can read the whole thing. Plus, it’s an e-book, so it’s dirt cheap and you can read it… now!

While you’re there, you might as well check out the Zen Habits Blog. Lots of great stuff on there too.

What it is: A really easy introduction to how to more effectively communicate and experience your life.

Description: this easy to read and easy to approach book offers the reader some no nonesense coaching on the meaning of your words and actions, and how to live more powerfully in agreement with them.

What I Got out of it: The book showed me that we are all unique, and yet there are some basic agreements we all share. I may eat, play, and view the world in my own way, but I share some fundamental understanding of things with everyone. Things like what integrity is and what it means to give my word, these are things that are universally understood.

Reading this book affirmed my choices in ways that centered and grounded me.

Learn more about The 4 Agreements

Shunryu Suzuki Roshi was a Soto Zen priest and the founder of the San Francisco Zen Center. He was born 1904 in rural Japan, arrived in the United States to teach in 1959, and died of cancer in San Francisco in 1971.

Description: I have read many Buddhist books, and this one is my favorite. In fact, I have read many books (full stop), and this one is my favorite. ZMBM is mystical and otherworldly yet day-to-day ordinary, it is philosophical and technical yet beautifully poetic and literary, it is challenging and demands your best yet is gentle and patient, it is traditional yet modern, it is serious and sincere yet light-hearted and easy, it is simple yet deep, it is Japanese yet American. To summarize : pimp as muhfgn hell. Steven Mitchell included excerpts from ZMBM in his anthological collection of traditional “enlightened” writings called “The Enlightened Mind”, and it’s easy to see why. My perspective is that these words emerge from the still silent heart of genuine spiritual liberation.

Anecdote: Suzuki Roshi was purportedly a small man with a wry and sometimes mischievous sense of humor. Once, while being transported between Zen temples, he reportedly ordered a burger, and then, saying he wasn’t that hungry, switched lunches with his driver (later admitting that it was because he thought the guy was too attached to being a hard-line vegetarian). Suzuki Roshi’s, a Zen master in his own right, described him as “soft and warm on the outside, hard as stone [in his self-discipline] on the inside”.

Potential Turn-Offs: I’ll leave others to try to cook some up. I can’t think of any. Maybe if your iman declared jihad on all religions besides your own? Aside from fundamentalism like that, if you’re into depth, clarity, beauty, and profundity, this is a good book for you.

What I Got out of it: In the twenty years since I first read it, every time I pick up this book and read a chapter or three, I get something out of it that speaks powerfully and directly to what is going on in my life. The relevant information is usually simultaneously simple, obvious, and everyday-decent, and yet also magical, deep, and paradoxical. I have noticed that my favorite books seem to grow deeper as the years go on, and the deeper I get, and ZMBM was the first book I noticed that seemed to be doing this. I look forward to seeing what as yet undiscovered treasures it will hold for me twenty or thirty years from now.

Learn more about Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, by Shunryu Suzuki

Nisargadatta Maharaj was born in 1897 with the name “Maruti”, and lived a simple uneducated life, as a husband and shopkeeper in the slums of Bombay, until he died in 1981. He is considered by some however to have attained the supreme state of “moksha” (Sanskrit for “enlightenment” or “liberation”), and to be one of the deepest modern masters of the Hindu school of Advaita Vedanta (emphasizing direct nondualistic realization of truth).

In the words of Advaita scholar Dr. Robert Powell, “Like the Zen masters of old, Nisargadatta’s style is abrupt, provocative, and immensely profound — cutting to the core and wasting little effort on inessentials. His terse but potent sayings are known for their ability to trigger shifts in consciousness, just by hearing, or even reading them.”

Description: If you really want to not just understand the concept, but actually learn how it feels to disidentify with yourself as a finite human being, and to instead experience yourself as an expressive action of the entire universe, then this is your book. Nisargadatta’s teachings are relentlessly confrontational and cosmically and mind-blowing. They take every preconceived notion that you have, and blow them out of the water, stretching you much wider open than you even could have conceived possible. This book is IT, the end point of the whole journey.

Anecdote: The philosopher Ken Wilber points out that many of the modern enlightened masters may have been spiritually liberated but were not fully integrated, i.e. were unhealthy in certain areas of their life besides spirituality. Nisargadatta is an example of this – from his state of enlightenment and his role as part-time role as a guru to many, he also ran a store that mostly sold leaf-rolled cigarettes, chain smoked, and died of throat cancer.

Potential Turn-Offs: If you are new to spiritual practice, this is probably not the book for you – I recommend building up to it with some other books, teachers, and experiences first. First off, a lot of what Nisargadatta teaches in the book is difficult to conceptually comprehend – it’s anything but common sense. Also, I’ve heard it said that the reason why we aren’t all directly in touch with the deep enlightened spiritual truth of life here and now is that it can be so terrifyingly raw. Reading this book may leave you a believer of that theory.

What I Got out of it: Reading I Am That had me finally understand the mystical experience, not as a concept, but, from the inside, what it actually feels like. I can only handle the intensity of the book in three to fifteen page doses, but, after such a reading, I feel immense, clear, transcendent, and unstainable. It doesn’t get any realer. KABOOM, bitches.

Learn more about I Am That, by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Codependent No More introduced the word ‘codependent’ to the wider world. The term ‘codependent’ originated as a term to describe people who use relationships with others as their sole source of value and identity. These people often end up in relationships with either drug addicted or alcohol addicted spouses or lovers. In the book, Beattie explains that a codependent is a person who believes their happiness is derived from other people or one person in particular, and eventually the codependent becomes obsessed with controlling the behavior of the people/person that they believe is making them happy.

Rather like Bill Wilson’s Alcoholics Anonymous five decades earlier, Beattie’s early work took the previously complex object relations and interpersonal theories of psychological theorists like Heinz Kohut, Wilfred Bion, and Otto Kernberg, and put them in language laypeople could easily grasp. Codependent No More also re-phrased many of the notions expressed in the Al-Anon Twelve Step movement into more modern language, and made the notion of addiction to a person part of the western cultural lexicon.”

Description: The book is about learning how to have – wait for it – no more codependency. Beattie worked as a professional writer while she wrote it, so it’s an extraordinarily smooth read, mixing examples with theory, and making deep concepts clear and easy to grasp. Some general themes are cultivating boundaries, a healthy sense of separation, solid self-respect, saying “no”, paying attention to one’s own business, and being able to strong and brave in walking one’s path. It’s also about finding balance and general emotional health, and cultivating the ability to love and care for others for real (in a way that isn’t draining).

Anecdote: My copy of the book is from the original printing. My mom bought it around the time it first came out, and I borrowed it a couple years later. I was a little weirded out seeing her number rankings (from one to five) of herself next to the multi-page list of codependency symptoms. Anyway, after reading it a few times through, I asked if I could keep it, and my mom said yes, and I still have her old copy. I think I bought her a copy of a later printing a few years later.

Potential Turn-Offs: I like listening to books on audio, but, whisky tango foxtrot, could they have found an more mawkish and weepy sounding actress to read the book. Avoid. Also, if the whole “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me” affirmation-twelve step vibe is silly to you, this book may be too (although, honestly, this book will reach out and break your ass bone with a firmly placed kick if you tell it that you think it’s “silly”. Or, actually, more likely, it will just tell you firmly that it doesn’t appreciate your comment, and, calmly and with self-respect, turn and go about its business.)

What I Got out of it: The book is deep, honest, personal, intense, relevant, and practical. I have complete trust in it. Growing from being an anxious, scared-of-people kid, repeated readings of this book gave me a powerful sense of self-respect, of my own worth, and of my own path and core. It’s funny that they got Ms. Weepy to read it for the audio production, because they could have just as easily gotten a Marine Corps sergeant major. Yes. Drop and give me fifty, Recruit – that’s just how it do.

Learn more about Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie

Description: A straight up masterpiece. This book is filled with deep, true, authentic Buddhist wisdom, and yet is written in an easy, extraordinarily clear Americanized vernacular. It is a comprehensive introduction for mindfulness meditation practice, filled with clear instructions for the path. The book challenges the reader to go deep and to practice properly, but it also has a simple, patient, humorous, kind, smiling vibe to it. Covers a wide ground, and yet touches on each subject in depth.

Anecdote: It is my experience that neither Bhante G (as he is known)’s other books nor his live lectures are quite as piercingly clear and smooth as this book is. Relevant here are the rumors that MiPE was ghost-co-written with an American professional writer.

Potential Turn-Offs: Don’t read this book if … ummmm …. if you don’t like being happy? Honestly, I can’t really think of any negatives to it. This book rökkz harder than John Bonham flying a F-35 JSF (while wearing Iron Man’s battlesuit).

What I Got out of it: I’ve been sitting meditation for twenty years and teaching it for five, and much of my grounding in the practice has come out of this book. Any meditation practitioner I know who is looking to deepen their understanding of the practice has gotten value from their engagement with this book. It’s everything you wish your mom had taught you about meditation practice. Anytime I pick up and re-read a little bit of it, I feel soothed, clarified, and a feeling of the worthwhileness of being aware, intentional, and alive.

Purchase Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

Description: The book starts with Dan getting it all right at Stanford. He’s on the gymnastics team, and he’s good. He gets lots of attention from girls, and is pretty much breezing by. Then he meets Socrates, an unlikely gas station attendant who turns his world upside down. Socrates immediately intrigued Dan when he managed to appear on the roof, seemingly by flying. After that, Socrates leads Dan on a journey of self-discovery and challenge that shakes Dan’s assumptions about the world to the ground. Dan goes through periods of cleansing/fasting, meditation, and seemingly magical journeys when Socrates touches his temples.

Anecdote: The book was an easy read. I took it on my commute (by train) and it was easy to pick up and put down. I did find myself looking for lessons in the book, tips, tricks, keys to the kingdom of heaven. Alas, it was just a good story, albeit an inspiring one.

Potential Turn-Offs: Well, there’s a bunch of stuff that seems pretty unlikely unless you already have experience doing energy work, reiki, and reading auras. Dan takes a few trips that are like lucid dreams that Socrates activates just by touching his temple. Frankly, I’m down with reiki, and fine fine, you’ve got an aura, but the Vulcan mind meld is a bit much even for me.

What I Got out of it: While I didn’t start a meditation practice the next day, I did get a chance to be more mindful of my state, my reactions, the way I eat, what I eat, etc. I’d say I got a glimpse of being more intentional and that felt good.

Buy th book: Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

Description: Cognitive Therapy has been clinically proven to be as effective as medication for treating depression and more effective than medication for treating insomnia.

REBT preceded and is now a subset of cognitive therapy. Dr. Albert Ellis invented REBT ( Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy ) in the 1950s when he was practicing traditional Freudian psychoanalysis. Dr. Ellis noticed that is patients who got better changed the way they thought about their situations. Being well versed in western philosophy Dr. Ellis recalled the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus who once said

“People are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them.”

Ellis started experimenting with purposefully helping his patients change the way they viewed their situations. Many of them, even ones who had been in therapy for years, got better rapidly.

Dr. Ellis created REBT which later evolved changed and became known as “cognitive therapy”.

REBT is based on the idea that thoughts cause emotions and influence behavior. Emotions as well behaviors can be changed by disputing irrational beliefs with facts and logic, forming new rational beliefs, and behaving in a way that is consistent with the new rational beliefs.

Unlike cognitive therapy, REBT places strong emphasis on modifying emotions and modifying behavior in addition to disputing irrational beliefs. REBT also posits that there are 12 core irrational beliefs that most people have that cause them to experience unpleasant emotions needlessly.

In “A Guide To Rational Living” Dr. Ellis explains REBT, its methods, and the then top 10 irrational beliefs. Ellis is not known for being a great writer, but in this book he pulls it together. The tone is direct as well as clear, free of psychobabble, and you never doubt that you are being addressed by one of the great psychological minds of the 20th century.

Anecdote: I first learned of REBT in college when I was seeing a campus psychologist. One day I told him that I did not understand him when he told to “deal with my feelings”. I asked him what exactly do people do, when they “deal with their feelings”. The counselor was quiet for a few moments. He then wrote down the name of this book, which I borrowed from the campus library.

Using REBT is a lot like jogging, particularly for large issues or personal development. It has to be replied repeatedly and consistently.

However, there have been a few times when I have been upset, used the techniques for rationally analyzing my thoughts, and felt my negative emotions go away instantly as if a switch had been turned off.

No drugs, no venting to counselor or a friend, no comfort activities….just thinking.

Potential Turn-Offs: There are multiple editions of this book. To get the latest edition with the most content make sure you have the 3rd 1975 printing(august). It should have 23 chapters. Earlier editions do not.

What I Got out of it: Many means of personal development encourage people to be dependent on things outside of themselves. Charismatic personal motivation speakers, expensive CD sets, books, life coaches and so on.

REBT teaches you can learn to help yourself and move under your own power.

Learn more about A Guide To Rational Living

From the GrowthPop team: parts of this review used Cron’s review on Steve Pavlina’s forums as source content. Cron has kindly let us keep the review live while giving him credit. Please take a look at his original review here.

Description: This book helps the reader learn how to create structures for conscious relating. These ideas assist in dealing with breakdowns by helping people understanding how to honor each individual as well as the relationship as a whole.

Anecdote: Before being introduced to the ideas in this book, I somehow didn’t realize that we each have our own way of “expecting” other’s to be in the world. I’ve found so much freedom through the implementation of these ideas in my life — what a brilliant gift!

Potential Turn-Offs: Dense material.

What I Got out of it: Freedom, compassion, understanding and tools to assist me in relating more effectively with everyone in my life, from my family to friends to clients and even strangers.

Learn more about RelationDancing

Growth Potential: 1) When we confuse magical or mythical forms of spirituality with trans-rational and experiential understandings of consciousness, we will often delude ourselves into thinking we are deepening our spiritual development when we are really deepening our delusion and fooling ourselves. By learning to differentiate between them, we can both recognize truly deep spiritual teaching and let go of pre-rational myths that hamper our spiritual growth. 2) We can learn to work with understand the responses that people at different levels of development will predictably exhibit, giving us greater ease and power in our social relations. 3) We can use these ideas to understand how seemingly disparate ideas and theorists actually compliment one another in describing the whole human condition. This synthesis allows us to integrate all of human knowledge into a coherent whole, even when the various teachers claim that they have the one and only or most important truths.

Pop Potential: Ken Wilber is transforming the academic and cultural landscape, bringing together many of the worlds most prestigious and prodigious teachers to his Integral Institute, including actors, politicians, entertainers, and authors. His work will be a central part of the new foundation for the future social and international organizations of the 21st century.

“Get Real” Potential: Many of the people whose work he both integrates and criticizes find his analysis arrogant and dominating. Ken is a very intellectual guy, and many suggest that he privileges thinking over feeling and intuition. Since his work is conceptual and covers pretty much the whole of the Human knowledge project, it is often so abstract that people accuse him of missing the trees for the forest. He himself admits this, and points out that the map he is creating is not the territory – and that if you remember it is a map, it is an incredibly valuable one.

What I Got out of it: This book gave words and structure to a whole series of experiences around consciousness and mind that had been a source of deep internal conflict. As I learned and applied his distinctions to my experience, the various pieces settled into place and my mind cleared, giving me powerful insights. My work, my relationships, my internal experience became simpler, while my capacity to impact others increased dramatically. Most of all, it made my experiences of consciousness, rationality, and emotions work together as a coherent whole.

Learn more about Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality by Ken Wilber
Buy the book, “Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality,” on Amazon