Description: This book helps the reader learn how to create structures for conscious relating. These ideas assist in dealing with breakdowns by helping people understanding how to honor each individual as well as the relationship as a whole.

Anecdote: Before being introduced to the ideas in this book, I somehow didn’t realize that we each have our own way of “expecting” other’s to be in the world. I’ve found so much freedom through the implementation of these ideas in my life — what a brilliant gift!

Potential Turn-Offs: Dense material.

What I Got out of it: Freedom, compassion, understanding and tools to assist me in relating more effectively with everyone in my life, from my family to friends to clients and even strangers.

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Growth Potential: I find that tarot cards offer new ways to see what is happening in my and others’ lives. The images on the card are symbols that seem to inspire people to deep reflection about themselves. Because these particular ones are round, a good reader can interpret the nuances of the angle of the card in a way that sheds lights on surprising aspects of a person’s life.

Pop Potential: “I don’t believe it, but…” is a phrase I’m getting used to the more out-of-the-closet I become about being someone who digs the tarot. In fact, I brought the cards to a party the other day, and I was pleasantly surprised at how many people shyly asked if I’d pull them a card. Way cool! I got to have the most intimate conversations with strangers I’d ever had, and bizarrely, people trusted me. Maybe it’s because I tell them, “I don’t believe in it either, but it sure is fun, and at minimum you and I will have had a kick butt conversation all about you!” Surprise, surprise…people get really into that! (Or, it could just be the gorgeous sketches of naked, strong, sexy, vulnerable women that make them so appealing.)

“Get Real” Potential: At the beginning of the book, Karen Vogel (the co-designer and author) suggests that these card allow you to access wisdom directly from the goddess. I know other people think of tarot as a means of divination, during which the teller can actually read the future. I don’t buy that at all…and yet it freaks me out when I pull the EXACTLY RIGHT card (like the time my friend’s dog died, and she pulled the “death” card; or the time my other friend told her boyfriend she wanted to get engaged, and he freaked out, and she pulled the card that essentially said, “someone loves you but is not ready right now.”)

What I Got out of it: Aside from the obvious popularity that comes with being the tarot reader at parties, I find that the cards are a wonderful way to reflect on my day, or my week. I’ve started giving myself a full reading once a month, and although I rarely remember what the cards “said,” I highly value the ritual of reflecting regularly on my life, posing a question, and then listening deeply to my own answers. Mostly, though, I really appreciate the opportunity to get to know my friends more deeply by giving them a reading when they’re in a particularly tough place…the weird thing is, I can ask them hard questions they would NEVER be willing to hear/answer if we didn’t have the cards as a neutral mediator. As a tool for making and deepening friendships, these cards rock!

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At the risk of being slightly dramatic, the best way I can describe it is this: take the movie “The Matrix,” and imagine that you were in the matrix a few days before the events of the movie occur. Even if you ran into Neo and started telling him everything that was about to happen to him — about how the world is actually a computer simulation, that he’s actually asleep in some field somewhere, all of it — there’s no words you could speak such that he would actually understand on a deep level what’s about to happen to him. You just have to do it to get it.

Growth Potential: AMP is targeted to men seeking to improve their understanding of self, especially around women and relationship dynamics. Everyone’s experience is different, but I got an understanding of the behaviors, attitudes and emotions that I had when it came to relationships. The male and female coaches at AMP were excellent at helping me see the dormant, suppressed, and otherwise unexpressed emotions; moreover they were patient and understanding in coaching me to deep breakthroughs around my own hangups.

That all sounds very therapeutic and clinical, which is the most surprising part: of all the people I know, I was the last person on my list of people who need therapy. I didn’t think there was any benefit in talking about my hangups and desires to other people, in fact I was pretty convinced that I didn’t have any major issues to begin with.

Pop Potential: In my AMP, there were a lot of guys who teach traditional pick up courses, which offer a different approach to relationships — and in my opinion, less satisfying. Since taking the course, I’ve seen many, many men who are interested in learning to pick up women also end up taking AMP and finding a more grounded “inner game.” Basically, this course is for any man who wants to improve his relationship skills and dating life, i.e. 99% of men.

“Get Real” Potential: Not often, but sometimes Decker or other leaders of the course will talk about supernatural/energistic, woo-woo type stuff. Having a scientific background, my initial reaction is to cringe at the suggestion of any kind of magical, physical manifestations. C’mon guys, strong are you with the Force, but not that strong!

What I Got out of it: I discovered my innate ability to create badass relationships in my life, whether for a night, a week, months or longer.

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“Get Real” Potential: (see video below)

What I Got out of it: Several months after seeing The Secret, I was in a bit of a slump. At some point I noticed how preoccupied I was with thoughts of what wasn’t working. I remembered the lessons of The Secret and for 1 week, I started each day thinking that things had already drastically changed, expressed gratitude for them being so great, and felt the emotion as if things had already changed. Circumstances did rapidly and drastically shift, and have basically stayed that way since. The Secret is an easy target, but I dig it for adding some sizzle to goal setting and positive thinking.

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What it is: The full title of the book, “A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire” is a pretty damn good description. A ‘How To’ guide of sorts for men about the big 3 in life, told with an in-your-face honesty. Not for the weak of heart.

Growth Potential: A lot of people I know consider it the holy grail of personal growth for men. If a short bald guy with a goofy laugh can “open women to god,” imagine what it could do for you. This is the real deal.

Pop: What keeps this book from becoming a #1 bestseller? Its title. This book is often knee-jerk misunderstood to imply that “Men are Superior” as opposed to “Men can reach a superior version of themselves”

Get Real: Deida bottom-lines it: “If men and women are clinging to a politically correct sameness even in moments of intimacy, then sexual attraction disappears.”

What I Got: A new perspective on relating to women and a world of understanding about the polarities of masculine and feminine. I also got a really hot wife.

The Way of the Superior Man