If NLP usually turns you off, or you find it gimmicky, manipulative, or overblown, then I would recommend this course as a breath of fresh air for beginners and those with more experience as well.

Description: NLP Marin teaches a set of skills and perceptual frames that combine some core skills and techniques of NLP with a variety of other modalities, such as neo-Rechiean childhood development, Bert Hellinger’s family constellations, and other interesting and useful ideas they have integrated into their work.

I find their particular flavor of NLP is incredibly effective, respectful, and honoring of all aspects of a human being. It is very much in contrast to the feel I get from some other forms of NLP, which occur to me as gimmicky, manipulative, or overblown.

The main trainer/instructor is Carl Buchheit, who I really enjoy learning from. He’s been doing NLP since the late 70s, and is incredibly good at what he does. He’s incredibly sharp, knowledgeable, and has a really quirky sense of humor. I respect him a lot, and I’ve enjoyed every weekend I’ve gone to.

Anecdote: As a result of this training, I quit my job as a software engineer, and chose to start a career as a coach. The model and set of tools here integrated a lot of the other work I had learned elsewhere, and had me realize “Wow, I’m actually damn good at working with people, and have something very real to offer them.” It gave me the confidence to go after what I want, even though it’s a bit scary to do so.

Potential Turn-Offs: If you’re experienced as a coach/therapist, or done a lot of personal work with people, the first course may seem a little basic, and you may get impatient.

You also practice what you learn on other classmates. Sometimes that can be a great experience, and sometimes a difficult one, depending on the skill and competence of the classmate in question.

What I Got out of it: I have trained with them quite a bit, and am nearly complete with my Master’s Certification. (Which requires a total of 16 weekends of training.)

My experience of learning there has been an interesting combination of learning skills, and doing personal growth/development work. A lot of what I have learned has subtly (or dramatically) shifted my experience of people, the world, and especially myself. It’s not as dramatic and concentrated as an Arete circle, but has consistently worked to shift and revise a lot inside of me.

At this point, I feel *way* more acceptance and liking of myself, as well as having a really strong set of techniques I can use to work with people, and make a difference in their lives.

Learn more about NLP Marin

Shunryu Suzuki Roshi was a Soto Zen priest and the founder of the San Francisco Zen Center. He was born 1904 in rural Japan, arrived in the United States to teach in 1959, and died of cancer in San Francisco in 1971.

Description: I have read many Buddhist books, and this one is my favorite. In fact, I have read many books (full stop), and this one is my favorite. ZMBM is mystical and otherworldly yet day-to-day ordinary, it is philosophical and technical yet beautifully poetic and literary, it is challenging and demands your best yet is gentle and patient, it is traditional yet modern, it is serious and sincere yet light-hearted and easy, it is simple yet deep, it is Japanese yet American. To summarize : pimp as muhfgn hell. Steven Mitchell included excerpts from ZMBM in his anthological collection of traditional “enlightened” writings called “The Enlightened Mind”, and it’s easy to see why. My perspective is that these words emerge from the still silent heart of genuine spiritual liberation.

Anecdote: Suzuki Roshi was purportedly a small man with a wry and sometimes mischievous sense of humor. Once, while being transported between Zen temples, he reportedly ordered a burger, and then, saying he wasn’t that hungry, switched lunches with his driver (later admitting that it was because he thought the guy was too attached to being a hard-line vegetarian). Suzuki Roshi’s, a Zen master in his own right, described him as “soft and warm on the outside, hard as stone [in his self-discipline] on the inside”.

Potential Turn-Offs: I’ll leave others to try to cook some up. I can’t think of any. Maybe if your iman declared jihad on all religions besides your own? Aside from fundamentalism like that, if you’re into depth, clarity, beauty, and profundity, this is a good book for you.

What I Got out of it: In the twenty years since I first read it, every time I pick up this book and read a chapter or three, I get something out of it that speaks powerfully and directly to what is going on in my life. The relevant information is usually simultaneously simple, obvious, and everyday-decent, and yet also magical, deep, and paradoxical. I have noticed that my favorite books seem to grow deeper as the years go on, and the deeper I get, and ZMBM was the first book I noticed that seemed to be doing this. I look forward to seeing what as yet undiscovered treasures it will hold for me twenty or thirty years from now.

Learn more about Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, by Shunryu Suzuki

Nisargadatta Maharaj was born in 1897 with the name “Maruti”, and lived a simple uneducated life, as a husband and shopkeeper in the slums of Bombay, until he died in 1981. He is considered by some however to have attained the supreme state of “moksha” (Sanskrit for “enlightenment” or “liberation”), and to be one of the deepest modern masters of the Hindu school of Advaita Vedanta (emphasizing direct nondualistic realization of truth).

In the words of Advaita scholar Dr. Robert Powell, “Like the Zen masters of old, Nisargadatta’s style is abrupt, provocative, and immensely profound — cutting to the core and wasting little effort on inessentials. His terse but potent sayings are known for their ability to trigger shifts in consciousness, just by hearing, or even reading them.”

Description: If you really want to not just understand the concept, but actually learn how it feels to disidentify with yourself as a finite human being, and to instead experience yourself as an expressive action of the entire universe, then this is your book. Nisargadatta’s teachings are relentlessly confrontational and cosmically and mind-blowing. They take every preconceived notion that you have, and blow them out of the water, stretching you much wider open than you even could have conceived possible. This book is IT, the end point of the whole journey.

Anecdote: The philosopher Ken Wilber points out that many of the modern enlightened masters may have been spiritually liberated but were not fully integrated, i.e. were unhealthy in certain areas of their life besides spirituality. Nisargadatta is an example of this - from his state of enlightenment and his role as part-time role as a guru to many, he also ran a store that mostly sold leaf-rolled cigarettes, chain smoked, and died of throat cancer.

Potential Turn-Offs: If you are new to spiritual practice, this is probably not the book for you - I recommend building up to it with some other books, teachers, and experiences first. First off, a lot of what Nisargadatta teaches in the book is difficult to conceptually comprehend - it’s anything but common sense. Also, I’ve heard it said that the reason why we aren’t all directly in touch with the deep enlightened spiritual truth of life here and now is that it can be so terrifyingly raw. Reading this book may leave you a believer of that theory.

What I Got out of it: Reading I Am That had me finally understand the mystical experience, not as a concept, but, from the inside, what it actually feels like. I can only handle the intensity of the book in three to fifteen page doses, but, after such a reading, I feel immense, clear, transcendent, and unstainable. It doesn’t get any realer. KABOOM, bitches.

Learn more about I Am That, by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Description: David’s teaching is clear and concise. The instruction makes it easy to figure out where your hands and feet need to be so you can spend the entire class soaking up the sweetness as your breath moves you along. The flowing sequence connects you to your body and breath, even if you just have time for part of the practice. David’s ashtanga inspired class leaves you rejuvenated, full of life, & smiling.

Anecdote: My parents don’t practice yoga, but couldn’t turn off the DVD. Maybe it was the scenic natural setting, the soothing tone of David’s voice, or the connections he draws between the practice on and off the mat that kept us tuned in as if it were the latest arrival from Netflix. The experience created one more connection between myself and my parents.

Potential Turn-Offs: *Warning* : too many of David’s classes may lead you to quit your job & open your own yoga studio in the relatively near future. Side effects may also include: personal transformation, career changes, odd cravings of teacher trainings, a strong urge to tell all of your friends about the infinite benefits of yoga, intense feelings of peace, happiness, bliss, and love.

What I Got out of it: The proof is in the pudding…David was one of my very first yoga teachers, and now I teach yoga too. His classes allowed me to expand my boundaries, let go of what I didn’t need, harness what’s deep inside and let it shine on the outside.

Open your heart and mind to the practice, you’ll realize that you’re stronger than you ever imagined. And that with all that strength comes softness and compassion.

Learn more about Find Balance with David Lurey

Description: A straight up masterpiece. This book is filled with deep, true, authentic Buddhist wisdom, and yet is written in an easy, extraordinarily clear Americanized vernacular. It is a comprehensive introduction for mindfulness meditation practice, filled with clear instructions for the path. The book challenges the reader to go deep and to practice properly, but it also has a simple, patient, humorous, kind, smiling vibe to it. Covers a wide ground, and yet touches on each subject in depth.

Anecdote: It is my experience that neither Bhante G (as he is known)’s other books nor his live lectures are quite as piercingly clear and smooth as this book is. Relevant here are the rumors that MiPE was ghost-co-written with an American professional writer.

Potential Turn-Offs: Don’t read this book if … ummmm …. if you don’t like being happy? Honestly, I can’t really think of any negatives to it. This book rökkz harder than John Bonham flying a F-35 JSF (while wearing Iron Man’s battlesuit).

What I Got out of it: I’ve been sitting meditation for twenty years and teaching it for five, and much of my grounding in the practice has come out of this book. Any meditation practitioner I know who is looking to deepen their understanding of the practice has gotten value from their engagement with this book. It’s everything you wish your mom had taught you about meditation practice. Anytime I pick up and re-read a little bit of it, I feel soothed, clarified, and a feeling of the worthwhileness of being aware, intentional, and alive.

Purchase Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

Description: This is a deceptively basic-seeming book that will actually will reward the reader with as much depth as they are willing to seek from it. Some themes in the book are developing a sense of purpose and intentionality in life, cultivating self-discipline and ethical behavior, and ways to create social networks that work (which, in the end, comes down to love). A big theme in the book is taking on practices and self-cultivations in the service of self-improvement. The writing can occasionally be jargon-y or dense, but it is mostly an extraordinarily smooth clear well-edited read, as Covey skillfully weaves together stories and examples with theories and distinctions.

Anecdote: I’ve read the book only once, but I’ve listened to the 7HoHEP audio tapes many many times. The audio is a recording of Covey giving a supposedly extemporaneous lecture in front of a live audience. Nonetheless, in some cases, the audio is pretty much a verbatim equivalent of the text of the book, which makes me think that either the book is in some cases transcripted, or his live lectures were delivered from a tightly scripted outline.

Potential Turn-Offs: The book recommends a high degree of discipline, intentionality, and self-sacrifice, mentions God more than once, and draws a fair number of examples from business. People who are already hard on themselves, people whose current path is about letting go and going with the flow, or people who categorically have a problem with all businesspeople, may find the tone unpleasant.

What I Got out of it: It would be difficult to overstate the blessings that I have gotten out of this book, and the trust that I have for its teachings. It is just flat out goodness, it is about doing and being good, but taking the path of work and self-challenge, not inactive idealism. It’s one of those books to come back to as you grow, and see how the book has magically grown along with you.

Learn more about The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Description: The book starts with Dan getting it all right at Stanford. He’s on the gymnastics team, and he’s good. He gets lots of attention from girls, and is pretty much breezing by. Then he meets Socrates, an unlikely gas station attendant who turns his world upside down. Socrates immediately intrigued Dan when he managed to appear on the roof, seemingly by flying. After that, Socrates leads Dan on a journey of self-discovery and challenge that shakes Dan’s assumptions about the world to the ground. Dan goes through periods of cleansing/fasting, meditation, and seemingly magical journeys when Socrates touches his temples.

Anecdote: The book was an easy read. I took it on my commute (by train) and it was easy to pick up and put down. I did find myself looking for lessons in the book, tips, tricks, keys to the kingdom of heaven. Alas, it was just a good story, albeit an inspiring one.

Potential Turn-Offs: Well, there’s a bunch of stuff that seems pretty unlikely unless you already have experience doing energy work, reiki, and reading auras. Dan takes a few trips that are like lucid dreams that Socrates activates just by touching his temple. Frankly, I’m down with reiki, and fine fine, you’ve got an aura, but the Vulcan mind meld is a bit much even for me.

What I Got out of it: While I didn’t start a meditation practice the next day, I did get a chance to be more mindful of my state, my reactions, the way I eat, what I eat, etc. I’d say I got a glimpse of being more intentional and that felt good.

Buy th book: Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

Description: Cognitive Therapy has been clinically proven to be as effective as medication for treating depression and more effective than medication for treating insomnia.

REBT preceded and is now a subset of cognitive therapy. Dr. Albert Ellis invented REBT ( Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy ) in the 1950s when he was practicing traditional Freudian psychoanalysis. Dr. Ellis noticed that is patients who got better changed the way they thought about their situations. Being well versed in western philosophy Dr. Ellis recalled the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus who once said

“People are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them.”

Ellis started experimenting with purposefully helping his patients change the way they viewed their situations. Many of them, even ones who had been in therapy for years, got better rapidly.

Dr. Ellis created REBT which later evolved changed and became known as “cognitive therapy”.

REBT is based on the idea that thoughts cause emotions and influence behavior. Emotions as well behaviors can be changed by disputing irrational beliefs with facts and logic, forming new rational beliefs, and behaving in a way that is consistent with the new rational beliefs.

Unlike cognitive therapy, REBT places strong emphasis on modifying emotions and modifying behavior in addition to disputing irrational beliefs. REBT also posits that there are 12 core irrational beliefs that most people have that cause them to experience unpleasant emotions needlessly.

In “A Guide To Rational Living” Dr. Ellis explains REBT, its methods, and the then top 10 irrational beliefs. Ellis is not known for being a great writer, but in this book he pulls it together. The tone is direct as well as clear, free of psychobabble, and you never doubt that you are being addressed by one of the great psychological minds of the 20th century.

Anecdote: I first learned of REBT in college when I was seeing a campus psychologist. One day I told him that I did not understand him when he told to “deal with my feelings”. I asked him what exactly do people do, when they “deal with their feelings”. The counselor was quiet for a few moments. He then wrote down the name of this book, which I borrowed from the campus library.

Using REBT is a lot like jogging, particularly for large issues or personal development. It has to be replied repeatedly and consistently.

However, there have been a few times when I have been upset, used the techniques for rationally analyzing my thoughts, and felt my negative emotions go away instantly as if a switch had been turned off.

No drugs, no venting to counselor or a friend, no comfort activities….just thinking.

Potential Turn-Offs: There are multiple editions of this book. To get the latest edition with the most content make sure you have the 3rd 1975 printing(august). It should have 23 chapters. Earlier editions do not.

What I Got out of it: Many means of personal development encourage people to be dependent on things outside of themselves. Charismatic personal motivation speakers, expensive CD sets, books, life coaches and so on.

REBT teaches you can learn to help yourself and move under your own power.

Learn more about A Guide To Rational Living

Description: This book helps the reader learn how to create structures for conscious relating. These ideas assist in dealing with breakdowns by helping people understanding how to honor each individual as well as the relationship as a whole.

Anecdote: Before being introduced to the ideas in this book, I somehow didn’t realize that we each have our own way of “expecting” other’s to be in the world. I’ve found so much freedom through the implementation of these ideas in my life — what a brilliant gift!

Potential Turn-Offs: Dense material.

What I Got out of it: Freedom, compassion, understanding and tools to assist me in relating more effectively with everyone in my life, from my family to friends to clients and even strangers.

Learn more about RelationDancing

Growth Potential: 1) When we confuse magical or mythical forms of spirituality with trans-rational and experiential understandings of consciousness, we will often delude ourselves into thinking we are deepening our spiritual development when we are really deepening our delusion and fooling ourselves. By learning to differentiate between them, we can both recognize truly deep spiritual teaching and let go of pre-rational myths that hamper our spiritual growth. 2) We can learn to work with understand the responses that people at different levels of development will predictably exhibit, giving us greater ease and power in our social relations. 3) We can use these ideas to understand how seemingly disparate ideas and theorists actually compliment one another in describing the whole human condition. This synthesis allows us to integrate all of human knowledge into a coherent whole, even when the various teachers claim that they have the one and only or most important truths.

Pop Potential: Ken Wilber is transforming the academic and cultural landscape, bringing together many of the worlds most prestigious and prodigious teachers to his Integral Institute, including actors, politicians, entertainers, and authors. His work will be a central part of the new foundation for the future social and international organizations of the 21st century.

“Get Real” Potential: Many of the people whose work he both integrates and criticizes find his analysis arrogant and dominating. Ken is a very intellectual guy, and many suggest that he privileges thinking over feeling and intuition. Since his work is conceptual and covers pretty much the whole of the Human knowledge project, it is often so abstract that people accuse him of missing the trees for the forest. He himself admits this, and points out that the map he is creating is not the territory - and that if you remember it is a map, it is an incredibly valuable one.

What I Got out of it: This book gave words and structure to a whole series of experiences around consciousness and mind that had been a source of deep internal conflict. As I learned and applied his distinctions to my experience, the various pieces settled into place and my mind cleared, giving me powerful insights. My work, my relationships, my internal experience became simpler, while my capacity to impact others increased dramatically. Most of all, it made my experiences of consciousness, rationality, and emotions work together as a coherent whole.

Learn more about Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality by Ken Wilber
Buy the book, “Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality,” on Amazon