Description: The book starts with Dan getting it all right at Stanford. He’s on the gymnastics team, and he’s good. He gets lots of attention from girls, and is pretty much breezing by. Then he meets Socrates, an unlikely gas station attendant who turns his world upside down. Socrates immediately intrigued Dan when he managed to appear on the roof, seemingly by flying. After that, Socrates leads Dan on a journey of self-discovery and challenge that shakes Dan’s assumptions about the world to the ground. Dan goes through periods of cleansing/fasting, meditation, and seemingly magical journeys when Socrates touches his temples.

Anecdote: The book was an easy read. I took it on my commute (by train) and it was easy to pick up and put down. I did find myself looking for lessons in the book, tips, tricks, keys to the kingdom of heaven. Alas, it was just a good story, albeit an inspiring one.

Potential Turn-Offs: Well, there’s a bunch of stuff that seems pretty unlikely unless you already have experience doing energy work, reiki, and reading auras. Dan takes a few trips that are like lucid dreams that Socrates activates just by touching his temple. Frankly, I’m down with reiki, and fine fine, you’ve got an aura, but the Vulcan mind meld is a bit much even for me.

What I Got out of it: While I didn’t start a meditation practice the next day, I did get a chance to be more mindful of my state, my reactions, the way I eat, what I eat, etc. I’d say I got a glimpse of being more intentional and that felt good.

Buy th book: Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

Description: Cognitive Therapy has been clinically proven to be as effective as medication for treating depression and more effective than medication for treating insomnia.

REBT preceded and is now a subset of cognitive therapy. Dr. Albert Ellis invented REBT ( Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy ) in the 1950s when he was practicing traditional Freudian psychoanalysis. Dr. Ellis noticed that is patients who got better changed the way they thought about their situations. Being well versed in western philosophy Dr. Ellis recalled the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus who once said

“People are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them.”

Ellis started experimenting with purposefully helping his patients change the way they viewed their situations. Many of them, even ones who had been in therapy for years, got better rapidly.

Dr. Ellis created REBT which later evolved changed and became known as “cognitive therapy”.

REBT is based on the idea that thoughts cause emotions and influence behavior. Emotions as well behaviors can be changed by disputing irrational beliefs with facts and logic, forming new rational beliefs, and behaving in a way that is consistent with the new rational beliefs.

Unlike cognitive therapy, REBT places strong emphasis on modifying emotions and modifying behavior in addition to disputing irrational beliefs. REBT also posits that there are 12 core irrational beliefs that most people have that cause them to experience unpleasant emotions needlessly.

In “A Guide To Rational Living” Dr. Ellis explains REBT, its methods, and the then top 10 irrational beliefs. Ellis is not known for being a great writer, but in this book he pulls it together. The tone is direct as well as clear, free of psychobabble, and you never doubt that you are being addressed by one of the great psychological minds of the 20th century.

Anecdote: I first learned of REBT in college when I was seeing a campus psychologist. One day I told him that I did not understand him when he told to “deal with my feelings”. I asked him what exactly do people do, when they “deal with their feelings”. The counselor was quiet for a few moments. He then wrote down the name of this book, which I borrowed from the campus library.

Using REBT is a lot like jogging, particularly for large issues or personal development. It has to be replied repeatedly and consistently.

However, there have been a few times when I have been upset, used the techniques for rationally analyzing my thoughts, and felt my negative emotions go away instantly as if a switch had been turned off.

No drugs, no venting to counselor or a friend, no comfort activities….just thinking.

Potential Turn-Offs: There are multiple editions of this book. To get the latest edition with the most content make sure you have the 3rd 1975 printing(august). It should have 23 chapters. Earlier editions do not.

What I Got out of it: Many means of personal development encourage people to be dependent on things outside of themselves. Charismatic personal motivation speakers, expensive CD sets, books, life coaches and so on.

REBT teaches you can learn to help yourself and move under your own power.

Learn more about A Guide To Rational Living

Description: The Work’s founder Byron Katie presides over the curriculum and presents the exercises, but it is the students who are the true teachers in this experiential course, facilitating and learning from each other. Staff, who are School graduates, take care of the mechanics and are available to support participants to focus completely on their process. Participants in this total immersion experience spend more than a week in inquiry as both “client” and “facilitator,” instilling in each one the ability to meet with understanding all of the thoughts that produce all of the suffering in the world. The Work is presented in the context of universal stressors such as money and career, body and health issues, addictions, sex and relationships, and family issues. The curriculum changes and evolves according to the needs of the participants present.

Anecdote: There’s not much I can say anecdotally. Because of the “element of surprise” aspect of the School, past participants are asked not to say anything specific about the curriculum or personal experiences so as not to water it down for future participants. I can tell you that it is a mind-blower in most ways, like an internal Outward Bound.

Potential Turn-Offs: If you are a very private person or uncomfortable with others emoting, you may not want to get vulnerable with or in front of 300 strangers. There’s a fair amount of personal sharing going on throughout the workshop, plus partner and group work that requires some self-revelation.

What I Got out of it: Each time I do The Work I have a more peaceful perspective than I did before. The School got me into the habit of a regular practice of self inquiry, so that I always have a way to bring myself back to the peaceful center that is our true nature. The School was so impactful for me that I have made The Work my life’s work, offering it to others around the world.

Learn more about The School for The Work

Growth Potential: During the pleasure course, you will have a chance to look inward and identify what it is that makes you tick. All of us are living our lives according to a set of rules and guidelines that we’ve cobbled together based on past experiences. This is called “Your Trip”.

Your Trip’s job is to keep you safe, and comfortable; unfortunately in some instances Your Trip can also keep you from having the pleasure that you really want in your life.

During the pleasure course, you have a chance to identify Your Trip; once you have awareness of Your Trip, you will have more choice around it.

Pop Potential: A large portion of the course focuses on communication between partners. This type of work can benefit everyone. You will learn techniques to ask for what you want, and how to listen to what your partner wants.

There is also a hands-on portion of the course where you will practice the communication techniques you’ve learned.

“Get Real” Potential: The pleasure course can sometimes overweight the idea that life is ALL about pleasure. This can be hard to swallow for folks right off the street.

I found that sometimes the course leaders did not provide space for negative emotions, saying we should not focus on that or it was just part of our “Trip.”

What I Got out of it: After identifying my Trip, I was able to look at the things that frustrated me in my relationship from a new angle. I realized that usually when I get upset at someone, its because of fear that has come up, from this place I can now share how I feel rather than make the other person wrong. This usually opens up a more intimate connection and leads to more pleasure in my life.

I learned practical techniques for asking for what I want in my relationship and as part of our sex life. I learned how to enjoy what is happening in the moment rather than focus on outcomes.

Learn more about The Pleasure Course

Learn more about National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS) Southwest

Growth Potential: Fix all your problems in 5 minutes? I’m in.

Pop Potential: Not so sure about Bob Newhart as a spokesperson if only he would stop it with the stuttering I might be able to look past the combover.

“Get Real” Potential: Bob cranks the “get real” potential-o-meter up to 11.

What I Got out of it: A revolutionary take on how to deal with my issues. Bob is truly a guru.

*Ahem* there actually appears to be a book inspired by this video…
Learn more about ‘Stop It!’ Therapy