I was at a job I hated for nearly six years.  Six years of wanting something else!  Looking back, I regret how long it took me to leap away from it.  There are so many directions to choose from, we often get boggled and just go with the safest, easiest option.  If it falls into your lap, if it pays well, if it’s convenient… you might as well take advantage of it, right?  I warn you, no.  I always said I would wait to leave until I had something solid lined up next.  Actually, my mother, in the back of my mind, was telling me to wait, puncuated with ‘what ifs’ and ‘oh dears.’  Honestly?  The world is NOT that scary.  You’ll be ok.  Just go.

You must choose your own happiness.  Only you know what will make you completely happy, only you can figure out that puzzle.  But it is a tricky puzzle that takes effort.  Figure out what you really enjoy.  What makes you feel alive?  One of the wisest of men once said “Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”  Whatever decision you make, whichever path you take, do it with intention.  Choose it, and then live that choice.

How do you get a feeling of forward momentum in your life?  Well, first you have to figure out where you want to go!  You certainly won’t get it standing still.  That’s the hardest part, in some ways.  Once you have your heading, once you take that first step… the second and third steps, they just happen.

Finally, you have to really believe that you deserve to be as spine-tinglingly happy as you can possibly imagine being.  You do!  We all do.  There is no reason you should ever feel like you should be satisfied with “good enough.”

From TechRepublic

If you’re like much of today’s workforce, you need to have halfway decent writing skills to succeed at your job. But if you don’t have time to work on those skills, mastering a few basic rules can still make a big difference.

Maybe you’ve never penned a single blog entry, never been asked to write a progress report, never had to read over a colleague’s work for errors, and never had to send a critically important e-mail message to your boss. If that’s the case, you’re free to go now. But for most of us, a certain amount of writing is part of our job — and unfortunately, our efforts aren’t always as effective as they should be.

We’ve talked before about some of the big blunders — grammatical mistakes and misused words — that find their way into our written communications. Now, let’s consider some of the general best practices that contribute to clean, consistent writing. These pointers are based on TechRepublic’s in-house conventions, which are based on commonly recommended guidelines. (In other words, you don’t have to agree with them. And of course, variations may exist depending on what country you live in.)

The good thing about following a few rules in your writing, even if some of them seem arbitrary or trivial, is that it frees you up to concentrate on what you’re trying to say instead of trying to figure out why something doesn’t sound right or worrying that it’s just plain wrong.

And there’s this: People will notice when your writing is tighter and more consistent. I guarantee it.

#1: Echoes

Bad practice: Repeated words or phrases set up an echo in the reader’s head or a “Didn’t I just read that?” glitch that can be distracting.

Example:

• Several “but”s or “however”s or “for example”s in one paragraph (or in nearly every paragraph); a series of paragraphs that begin with “Next”
• A favorite crutch word or phrase used throughout an article (”ensure that,” “as such”, “that said”)

Best practice: Vary the language to avoid annoying or distracting readers with repeated words. Even better, get rid of some of the repeated verbiage, which usually turns out to be overkill anyway.

#2: Nonparallel list items

Bad practice: We often use an inconsistent structure for lists or headings.

Example:

We will cover these topics:

• Backing up the registry
• The Registry Editor is your friend
• Using REG files
• Use a GUI tool
• Searching the registry
• Take advantage of Favorites
• Clean the registry

Best practice: Reword where necessary to make the items parallel.

#3: Agreement problems

Bad practice: Sometimes we lose track of what the subject is, and our verb doesn’t match.

Examples:

• Neither of the editors are very smart.
• The dog, as well as the goat and chicken, are easy to parallel park.
• One-third of the company are color blind.

Best practice: Scrutinize the subject to determine whether it’s singular or plural. It’s not always obvious.

#4: Referring to companies, organizations, etc., as “they”

Bad practice: A company — or any collective group that’s being referred to as a single entity — is often treated as plural, but it shouldn’t be.

Examples:

• I wish Wal-Mart would get their pot hole fixed.
• Microsoft said they’ll look at the problem.

Best practice: Unless there’s some compelling exception, use “it.”

#5: Hyphenating “ly” adverbs

Bad practice: “ly” adverbs never take a hyphen, but they pop up a lot.

Examples:

• We like to avoid commonly-used expressions.
• Click here for a list or recently-added downloads.

Best practice: Don’t hyphenate ly adverbs. The “ly” says “I modify the word that comes next,” so there’s no need to tie them together with a hyphen.

#6: Using “which” instead of “that”

Bad practice: We sometimes use “which” to set off an essential clause (instead of “that”).

Examples:

• The meeting which was scheduled for 1:00 has been cancelled.
• The option which controls this feature is disabled.

Best practice: The commonly-accepted (haha) convention in American English is to set off a nonessential clause with the word “which” and a comma. One good test is whether the information is extra — not essential to the meaning of the sentence. If the clause is essential, use “that.”

#7: Wordy constructions; deadwood phrases

Nothing is worse for a reader than having to slog through a sea of unnecessary verbiage. Here are a few culprits to watch for in your own writing.

#8: Using “that” instead of “who”

Bad practice: Some writers use “that” to refer to people.

Examples:

• The bartender that took my money disappeared.
• The end user that called this morning said he found my money.
• The folks that attended the training said it was a waste of time.

Best practice: When you’re referring to people, use “who.”

#9: Inconsistent use of the final serial comma

Bad practice: One convention says to use a comma to set off the final item in a series of three or more items; another (equally popular) convention says to leave it out. But some writers bounce between the two rules.

Examples:

• Word, Excel, and Outlook are all installed. (OR: Word, Excel and Outlook are all installed.)
• Open the dialog box, click on the Options tab, and select the Enable option. (OR: Open the dialog box, click on the Options tab and select the Enable option.)

Best practice: Decide on one convention and stick to it. Those who read what you’ve written will have an easier time following your sentence structure if you’re consistent.

#10: Using a comma to join two dependent clauses

Bad practice: Commas are a great source of controversy and often the victim of misguided personal discretion. But there is this rule: Two dependent clauses don’t need one.

Examples:

• I hid the ice cream, and then told my sister where to find it.
• The user said he saved the file, but somehow deleted it.

Best practice: If the second clause can’t walk away and be its own sentence, don’t set it off with a comma.

A Summary:

Method 1: Symbolize the next action

Using notepaper or a simple text file on your laptop or tablet, indent the pages of your notes in from the left margin. Then, use a simple system of symbols to mark off 4 different information types in the column space left in the margin.

* [ ] A square checkbox denotes a to do item
* ( ) A circle indicates a task to be assigned to someone else
* * An asterisk is an important fact
* ? A question mark goes next to items to research or ask about

After the meeting, a quick vertical scan of the margin area makes it easy to add tasks to your to do list and calendar, send out requests to others, and further research questions. (This method is the brainchild of Michael Hyatt, someone who clearly has mastered the art of attending meetings.)

Method 2: Split your page into quadrants

Another way to visually separate information types is to split your note-taking page into quadrants and record different kinds of information – like questions, reference and todo’s – into the separate areas on the page. Rumor has it this is how Bill Gates – someone known for taking amazingly detailed meeting notes – gets it done.

Method 3: Record and summarize – Use The Cornell Note-taking Method to divide your notes into independent sections to make information retrieval easy.

From Covey:

If you remember nothing else from this blog remember this: leadership has nothing to do with formal authority, it has everything to do with influence.

Read Stephen Covey’s full article here.

If NLP usually turns you off, or you find it gimmicky, manipulative, or overblown, then I would recommend this course as a breath of fresh air for beginners and those with more experience as well.

Description: NLP Marin teaches a set of skills and perceptual frames that combine some core skills and techniques of NLP with a variety of other modalities, such as neo-Rechiean childhood development, Bert Hellinger’s family constellations, and other interesting and useful ideas they have integrated into their work.

I find their particular flavor of NLP is incredibly effective, respectful, and honoring of all aspects of a human being. It is very much in contrast to the feel I get from some other forms of NLP, which occur to me as gimmicky, manipulative, or overblown.

The main trainer/instructor is Carl Buchheit, who I really enjoy learning from. He’s been doing NLP since the late 70s, and is incredibly good at what he does. He’s incredibly sharp, knowledgeable, and has a really quirky sense of humor. I respect him a lot, and I’ve enjoyed every weekend I’ve gone to.

Anecdote: As a result of this training, I quit my job as a software engineer, and chose to start a career as a coach. The model and set of tools here integrated a lot of the other work I had learned elsewhere, and had me realize “Wow, I’m actually damn good at working with people, and have something very real to offer them.” It gave me the confidence to go after what I want, even though it’s a bit scary to do so.

Potential Turn-Offs: If you’re experienced as a coach/therapist, or done a lot of personal work with people, the first course may seem a little basic, and you may get impatient.

You also practice what you learn on other classmates. Sometimes that can be a great experience, and sometimes a difficult one, depending on the skill and competence of the classmate in question.

What I Got out of it: I have trained with them quite a bit, and am nearly complete with my Master’s Certification. (Which requires a total of 16 weekends of training.)

My experience of learning there has been an interesting combination of learning skills, and doing personal growth/development work. A lot of what I have learned has subtly (or dramatically) shifted my experience of people, the world, and especially myself. It’s not as dramatic and concentrated as an Arete circle, but has consistently worked to shift and revise a lot inside of me.

At this point, I feel *way* more acceptance and liking of myself, as well as having a really strong set of techniques I can use to work with people, and make a difference in their lives.

Learn more about NLP Marin

Description: This is a deceptively basic-seeming book that will actually will reward the reader with as much depth as they are willing to seek from it. Some themes in the book are developing a sense of purpose and intentionality in life, cultivating self-discipline and ethical behavior, and ways to create social networks that work (which, in the end, comes down to love). A big theme in the book is taking on practices and self-cultivations in the service of self-improvement. The writing can occasionally be jargon-y or dense, but it is mostly an extraordinarily smooth clear well-edited read, as Covey skillfully weaves together stories and examples with theories and distinctions.

Anecdote: I’ve read the book only once, but I’ve listened to the 7HoHEP audio tapes many many times. The audio is a recording of Covey giving a supposedly extemporaneous lecture in front of a live audience. Nonetheless, in some cases, the audio is pretty much a verbatim equivalent of the text of the book, which makes me think that either the book is in some cases transcripted, or his live lectures were delivered from a tightly scripted outline.

Potential Turn-Offs: The book recommends a high degree of discipline, intentionality, and self-sacrifice, mentions God more than once, and draws a fair number of examples from business. People who are already hard on themselves, people whose current path is about letting go and going with the flow, or people who categorically have a problem with all businesspeople, may find the tone unpleasant.

What I Got out of it: It would be difficult to overstate the blessings that I have gotten out of this book, and the trust that I have for its teachings. It is just flat out goodness, it is about doing and being good, but taking the path of work and self-challenge, not inactive idealism. It’s one of those books to come back to as you grow, and see how the book has magically grown along with you.

Learn more about The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Buy the book from Amazon.com

Learn more about Momentum Education

“Get Real” Potential: (see video below)

What I Got out of it: Several months after seeing The Secret, I was in a bit of a slump. At some point I noticed how preoccupied I was with thoughts of what wasn’t working. I remembered the lessons of The Secret and for 1 week, I started each day thinking that things had already drastically changed, expressed gratitude for them being so great, and felt the emotion as if things had already changed. Circumstances did rapidly and drastically shift, and have basically stayed that way since. The Secret is an easy target, but I dig it for adding some sizzle to goal setting and positive thinking.

Learn more about The Secret